Some of you have been asking me where the prenuptial posts have been.  I have been loathe to post about the subject because there is still a great deal of emotional turmoil surrounding the situation.  So without further fanfare, I am announcing that the upcoming marriage of Bailey and Daniel has been postponed.
While the dust clears and while God ministers to everyone’s heart, I ask for your continued prayers for both Bailey and Daniel.   May God bless their hearts, minds and spirits.  May they see His clarity of purpose.  And may they have joy pursuing the path that He has ordained for them.
 
-Roo

It is a bright and beautiful Saturday morning.  In one week, my third daughter will be getting married.  The whole family is abuzz with anticipation – and a little bit of dread.
As you know (if you’ve read my posts recently), my first daughter got married in late May.  And despite all predictions to the contrary, that event went off with narry a hitch.  I give all of the credit for that success to Meredith as she invested a great deal of thought and attention to the event.
But the second marriage of the summer could easily be characterized as a more free-spirited event.  Bailey is a beautiful child of God.  And she has a great sense of intuition.  But planning and discipline are not her primary strengths.  Her idea of getting married was to invite her family and a few friends to a ceremony and a simple party.  Earlier this year, she would have said that doing more than this would be ostentatious and thriftless.  In fact, her sense of utility and maximum stewardship expressed itself when she decided to wear a previously-worn wedding dress.
But her betrothed (and his family) did not share the same sense of the matter.  So Bailey has adjusted.  In odd ways, the rehearsal dinner may be a more formal event that the wedding reception itself.  But that’s OK with me.  I want Bailey to be happy.  And Bailey wants to integrate everyone into the festivities.  So she has learned adaptability and grace.
Of course, all of this comes when she is trying to finish her bachelor’s degree.  Cindy and I had only one real requirement for the wedding: we wanted Bailey to earn her degree BEFORE she got married.  This was a practical requirement because we know that once married, family priorities would necessarily outweigh personal priorities.  So we held firm – and she has delivered.  A little over ten days ago, she pushed through a compacted summer school session where she earned her last few credits.  She now can put B.A. on her CV.
Of course, she has been swamped – and emotionally overwhelmed.  She has only known Daniel for about nine months.  So she is still learning how to deal with conflicts between herself and her future husband.  She is also becoming an adult (as she just turned 21 about eight months ago).  She finished her B.A. in three years.  She is planning a wedding.  And she has secured a first job that starts after her return from the honeymoon.  And they will be moving away from friends and family as they start their life in Wichita.  Wow, she has been busy.
And between her frenzy and my wife’s frenzy (juggling a job, raising a grand-daughter, and planning for two weddings), it has been an emotional blender over the past few weeks.
But I do think that we have finally reached a point of equilibrium (or emotional exhaustion).  And everyone appears ready to get Bailey and Daniel married – and into their new lives.  I want to thank everyone for their prayers to get us to this point.  Less than a week ago, I had my doubts about whether the event would occur or not.  But the train is on the tracks, the engines is fired up and the whistle has been blown by the conductor.   We are finally underway.  And just in time.
While this event will not go as “smoothly” (i.e., per a scripted plan) as the previous wedding, that is part of the bride’s “plan” for the wedding.  Spontaneity and joy are Bailey’s hallmark traits.  So we have dealt with spontaneous conflagrations.  Now it’s time for some spontaneous joy and celebrations.
Cindy and I must now lean on each other and double-team our way to our own joy in this event.  And Bailey and Daniel must begin to learn how to work together as a team.  After a few years, we will get to see what kind of a team they become.  I’m putting my money on Rowan and Martin.
-Roo

I don’t know where to start.  So I’ll start with the only phrase that makes sense: praise God!  I have a new son-in-law, I hope. [More about the hope below.]
Yesterday is a complete and total blur.  I think I’ll be blogging about it for a while.  But here are the highlights:

1. Meredith was more beautiful than I have ever seen her.  She smiled all day long.  If you knew my eldest daughter, then you might be surprised by the fact that she was calm, poised and almost regal.  While she can be a full-on (though un-certified) PMP, she set aside her ‘directorial duties’ and choose to be the leading lady.  And she was wonderful.  She trusted her plan.  She trusted her team.  More importantly, she took the time to speak with everyone at the reception.
2. My new son-in-law is amazing.  Meredith is (normally) a compulsively talkative fuss-budget.  Josh is her absolute antithesis.  He is a rock.  I don’t think anything can disturb his zen-like calm.  More importantly, he is truly devoted to my daughter.  He cares about her so very much.  What is so very special is that he doesn’t have to shout it aloud because he wears his heart on his sleeve.  His devotion is inspiring.  I can’t wait to see the shared mission that the two of them will have.
3. Cindy was amazing.  She radiated joy for our daughter.  She helped to coordinate everything – and she was there whenever Meredith needed her Mom. The interplay between them was positively overwhelming for me.  I will never be able to fully express my gratitude to God for the gift He gave me when I married Cindy.
4. Meredith’s siblings were phenomenal.  They helped to set up the ceremony site.  They helped to break down the ceremony site.  They helped to set up the reception site and they helped to break down the reception site.  They were there throughout the day and night.  Bailey spent several hours making sure that the chuppah looked positively perfect.  Bailey was also moved to pay special tribute to her older sister during an unexpected toast to the bride and groom.
5. My granddaughter (and her fabulous Mom) were a treat.  Yes, Jayden was the precocious two-year old during he ceremony.  But she was also the hit of the party.  She got out on the dance floor and she had a blast.  She danced with anyone and everyone.  And she actually has a great sense of rhythm for a two-year old.  And Dana deserves special recognition: she saw her older sibling get married.  Yet she is the one who already has a child.  I am sure that there was some very bittersweet feelings rolling around through her mind.  But throughout the day, Dana was poised – and positively ebullient.  And she made sure that Jayden was allowed a little running room – but still knew when she needed to restrain her daughter.  This was especially true when Jayden would run from the dance floor and try to get into the kitchen.
6. Bailey’s fiance (Daniel) gets all sorts of special kudos.  First, he is a caring and dear young man.  He danced all night with Bailey (though he seemed a little uncomfortable with dancing last night).  But he was also a fine dance partner for Jayden.  OK, everyone was a fine dance partner with Jayden – including Adam.  Daniel took special care to engage Jayden.  When he and Bailey are married in July, I pray that they will some day be blessed with children.  God has certainly blessed this young man with an amazing heart for kids.
7. I would really like to thank all of the “vendors” that Meredith pulled together.  The photographers were fantastic.  Yes, they took lots of pictures.  But that is what the bride wanted.  Despite being everywhere, they were very good at being less “visible” than they actually were.  The DJ was terrific at setting a great mood during dining.  Also, he was able to get everyone onto the dance floor.  The wedding planner was nothing like the JLo version.  However, she helped keep Meredith focused – and that was a blessing.
8. My daughter has some awesome friends.  The entire wedding party was bright, excited, thrilled (for Meredith) and willing to help out wherever they could.  When we were at the site, they were all there, eager to put a shoulder to the wheel in order to make the day so very special for Meredith.  While I would like to name everyone, I’ll control that inclination.  But I will give a shout out to one specific man: Sam Sharp was amazing.  He was not in the wedding party – though his brother was.  Many years ago, he and Meredith had dated.  Meredith had the good sense to keep Sam (and Kyle and Wes) as friends – despite the fact that they were no longer dating.  Sam epitomized what the term ‘friend’ truly means.
9. Finally, I want to wholeheartedly proclaim God’s awesomeness.  Every prayer we lifted to Him, He honored.  He allowed peace to reign in everyone’s heart.  He withheld the rain until after the outdoor ceremony.  All of the equipment worked.  All of the decorations were special.  And everyone had a heart for the bride, the groom, the solemnity of the occasion, and a desire to share the joy that Josh and Meredith share in being married.  As for me, I am so glad that God honored my prayers concerning the homily.  Not only did I remember enough of my thoughts to have a coherent message.  But God also gave me the grace to see how uncomfortable my new son-in-law was becoming.  So God helped me find a path to modify (i.e., shorten) my message without missing the content that He placed upon my heart.  In truth, He prepared me and then He re-directed me to where He really wanted me to be.  Thank you, Lord Jesus.  Thank you for your Spirit.  Thank you that I was in a place where I would listen to your words.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Amidst all of the commotion and tumult that our house is in as we prepare for Meredith’s marriage, our son just received word that a friend of his was killed in a car wreck.  It is never easy to hear such news.  And it is doubly difficult when the person is young and the death is unexpected.
I had very few words to give to my son.  I feebly reminded him that we must all be prepared for the end of our life  as the duration of our lives is truly unknown.  But the reality is that you are never fully prepared for the death of friends or for your own death.  Yes, you may be prepared for eternity.  But that is not all that we have to live for.    Indeed, God designed us so that we would never know death.  Our nature is to be transcendent, not entropic.
The best message I can give to my son is simple:

• Live your life fully. Don’t postpone the things you need to do until the end.  Don’t be defined by a ‘bucket list’ that is read over your ashes.
• Let your life be a testament to intentionality, not caprice and chance.
• Live your life as if you must use every ounce of your essence in the service of others.
• Live so that your life will be a blazing testament to the ideals that define you.  [In my case, I want my life to bring glory and honor to my Savior and Lord.]

Son, we are with you.  And Jesus is with you.  God will be your comfort, if you choose to place your head on His shoulder.
-Roo